There Are Some Things We Won’t Tolerate

 

The following article was written by Patty Breen

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I am so sick and tired of this.

As a woman and a Christian, it makes me angry that I live in a world where I constantly hear stories of women and young girls taken advantage of and molested.

I have been heartsick watching bits and pieces of the Larry Nassar trial unfold. I have shed many tears witnessing the pain of more than 150 women as they shared ther victim statements during the sentencing. I cannot begin to imagine the hurt and pain these women experience.

Recently, there have been times when I’ve looked at the crucifix hanging by the entrance to my apartment and I just get angry at Jesus. WHY, LORD?

Why does this keep happening? Why haven’t we learned? Why do we not believe women when they say they have been victimized? Why do we not speak up more as a Church?

And deep down inside, with the anger bubbling up like a volcano, I know why we see this evil play out repeatedly. It is because we live in a world that is so sexually broken, confused, misguided, shamed, and addicted. We live in a culture that says people are things to be used and disposed of. This reality does not mean we accept or tolerate such perverse actions, but it helps me see why these awful things are so pervasive in our culture.

So where does that put us as a Church, the body of believers?

We as a Church must get better at having messy, raw, painful conversations. Currently, we are not very good at doing this. This makes me feel frustrated and sad because I deeply love my Church. Whether it relates to pornography addiction for both men and women, or the #metoo movement, we can no longer put off these difficult yet important conversations. We must talk about these messy issues in church and outside of church. We must create room and space for people to share their stories and receive deep inner healing.

If we cannot be open and have these conversations in the Church, then we’re not the Church that Jesus wants us to be. We are not the church Pope Francis speaks of: “I prefer a church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security.”

We need to stop clinging to confinement, and go where the mess is, where the hurting, wounded people are.

So, what do we do in the aftermath of Larry Nassar’s trial and sentencing?

The Church has beautiful teachings like Theology of the Body but we need to get better at talking about sexuality in healthy, non-shaming ways. As I look back on my own growing up years, the way sexuality was discussed often made me feel bad about myself, scared, and confused. As a Church we need to do this better. We can do better.

We can pray and fast for all victims of sexual assault and violence.

We can talk about what it means to empower young girls to use their voice to say “No!” and trust their gut. We can help girls understand that real love never manipulates and demands and that you never owe a guy sexual favors. Ever. We can teach young women they are never “damaged goods” or ruined, no matter what they’ve done or what others have done to them. We can remind victims of sexual assault that they didn’t do anything wrong and never deserved what was done to them; that it is wrong, always wrong.

We can teach young men what it means to honor a woman and her dignity. We can teach young boys about the ways that pornography addiction will destroy any healthy relationship they can have with a woman someday. We can train young men to stand up and speak up for the dignity of women when they are in the locker room, at parties, in bars—everywhere they are.

We cannot accept and blend into a culture that is dominated by lust. We cannot blindly indulge in media and music that carries this message and think that it won’t affect us.

We cannot tolerate crude, sexual humor, or speaking of a person’s body as if it’s a piece of meat to savagely consume. And when we hear these things around our friends or among family, we are all obligated to say something. Always.

We have a lot of work to do and each of us has a role to play in our daily lives. The time of silence and indifference needs to end. And that change begins in small, yet mighty ways with each of us.

Jesus, healing is only possible through You. Help us be willing to be Your instruments, to bring Your hope and healing to the world.